Clean Old Age Jokes

Ole People Jokes

Funny, I don't remember being absent minded.

Health is merely the slowest possible rate at which one can die.

As you get old, your secrets become safe with your friends. They'll never share them because they can't remember them.

ife is like a roll of toilet paper. The closer it gets to the end, the faster it goes.

The newspaper sent a reporter to interview me on my 90th birthday. "What's the secret to longevity?" he asked. "That's simple," I said. "Keep breathing."

started out with nothing. I still have most of it.

ou can't be young forever. Immaturity, however, can last a life time.

knew the romance was gone when I drank champagne out of my wife's slipper and choked on a Dr. Scholl's insert.

Getting old is easy. Getting wise is not.

Nostalgia isn't what it used to be.

I finally got my head together. But now my body's falling apart.

I'm done with wild oats. Now I'm into prunes and All Bran.

You know you're getting old when you look in the mirror and see your father's face looking back at you.

I don't want to eat health food at my age. I need all the preservatives I can get.

I realized I was going bald when it was taking longer and longer to wash my face.

It's not life's pace that concerns me. It's the sudden stop at the end.

Wrinkles don't hurt.

Frustration is trying to find your glasses without your glasses.

I was taught to respect my elders. It's getting harder and harder to find one.

The ironic thing about life is that, by the time you are old enough to know your way around, you're not going anywhere.